Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
