Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
