I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Randomize