Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
