I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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