My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Someone shattered a urinal.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
