Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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