I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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