why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
