she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
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