the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize