New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
