I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
