yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
