There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
