I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
