I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize