I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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