She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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