This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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