whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
