is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
