You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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