From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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