have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize