how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
