There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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