could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
