Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
