I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
