She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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