You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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