i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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