ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
