I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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