The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
