Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize