carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When are your genitals available?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
