I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
