What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
