That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
