Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
