I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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