new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
