i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
