I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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