Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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