and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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