Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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