I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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