I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize