you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
