so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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