Umm I'm too high to move.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
