I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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