I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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