The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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