Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
