I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
