pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Less talking, more tequila
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
