i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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