please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
