I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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