She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it hurts more in the daytime
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
