your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
