as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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