problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
