DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
