How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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