i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
